The worst beating I’ve ever taken has been from myself. I have been my biggest critic, my harshest judge and whipped myself into submission. Am I good enough? People say,”yes you are” and I think, “no I’m not.” But the feeling isn’t of one that I can be better, rather that I am less than.
People told me I wasn’t good enough when I was young. You hear the same things constantly, you will believe it. It is a feeling that I have carried into my adult life. It effects both my personal and professional lives.
I choose people to build me up but it is usually in an unhealthy way. I depend on them for happiness, support and acceptance. Doing as much as I can to make them feel that I am enough; never truly believing that I am. I have put myself out there, financially, emotionally and sexually in the pursuit of feeling complete.